For the grieving

I just heard the news of the passing of someone who has been a part of my life, well, for all of it. Garry was the fast friend of my family, he and his family were pretty much always there. He lived life large, and always always was looking to take another back road to somewhere. He had a thirst for the road less taken. He and Barb were such a part of my parents world I cannot imagine how they will imagine their life without him in it.  I can imagine even less the loss that Barb, Lee, Michelle and Shauneen must feel at this moment.

I wish I had the capacity for words that could explain to them all how much a presence he has been, and even though he isn't with us, how much he'll continue to be, and how we must continue to love life, like he would. So I'll fall to someone else's words, words I just read the other day.

The Thing is

(By Ellen Bass)

to love life, to love it even
when you have no stomach for it
and everything you've held dear
crumbles like burnt paper in your hands,
your throat filled with the silt of it.
When grief sits with you, its tropical heat
thickening the air, heavy as water
more fit for gills than lungs;
when grief weights you like your own flesh
only more of it, an obesity of grief,
you think, How can a body withstand this?
Then you hold life like a face
between your palms, a plain face,
no charming smile, no violet eyes,
and you say, yes, I will take you
I will love you, again.