This doesn't really fall under the category of True Crime, but I was reminded of this story earlier today and thought it worth sharing. And seeing as it does involve mounties, True Crime it is….
I don't know how many of you have been to an RCMP Regimental Ball but
they are fancy affairs. The Members are decked out in Walking Out
order, our take on a tux or formal wear. Red Serge paired with a long
skirt for the women and "banana pants" for the men. Banana pants are
not the riding breeches that most people think of when they think of an
RCMP member in Red Serge but straight legged, tight trousers with a
high waist, the congress boots remind one of Elvis, but with spurs.
Many a Member has taken an unintended trip across the dance floor
riding the wheels of the spurs on their congress boots.
They are, generally, fun events. Lots of dancing and good times, but
one Regimental Ball in La Ronge turned into a nightmare for a friend of
mine. Lets call him Vincinzo. Vincinzo was up on the dance floor,
dancing up a storm with one of the Detachment clerks, and when the song
ended, there was a break in the action. Everyone headed off the dance
floor, and Vincenzo followed close behind a woman new to the community.
As they stepped off the dance floor the woman reached back and grabbed
Vincinzo, um, in a strategic spot of his Banana pants. Shocked, and
mildly embarrassed, he exclaimed "Whoa, those are mine". The woman,
looked back, saw who she had just, um, caressed in public, and laughed.
"Sorry, I thought you were my husband". The situation seemingly
diffused, Vincinzo shot back with a smile "you could probably tell
right away I wasn't him"
The woman lost it. She began berating Vincinzo and followed him
everywhere, nattering at him for saying such an uncouth thing. She
would not let up, and followed him out of the ballroom into the hotel
hallway. To escape her, and as he was heading there anyway, he ducked
into the men's room.
She followed him in, continuing to berate him, even as he stepped up to
the urinal. Finally he said, "Look, you're in the men's room. Leave!"
and she finally turned and huffed off. There was one other man in the
washroom, already busy at the urinal next to Vincinzo. Vincinzo turned
to him after the woman left, and said "What a Spinny B*tch"
It was her husband.
Comments
13 responses
I would have done the same as that poor woman. What a thing to say to a lady!
Heh heh, just kiddin’.
What I *really* want to know, though, is what the heck the husband said and the whole aftermath. Did Vincinzo leave the ball with his tail between his legs? Did he dance the night away without a care because the spinny b didn’t have a leg to stand on? (I’m being punny, but I really am curious!)
And you know what? I think Reader’s Digest would pay you for this for one of their joke sections. You could tone down the name he calls her to make it suitable for all their readers, and it would still be a fantastic and hilarious story!
BTW, you are up LATE!
Yes, I also want to know what the husband answered… He can’t have been ignorant to her rather one-sided view of things.
The husband pretty much continued where the wife left off, although at a less intense level. Vincinzo eventually went home early (although it was already later in the evening at the start of this) because they wouldn’t let it go (there’s my pun). Not only did they keep at him at the Ball they showed up at the Detachment Monday morning to complain to the NCO.
Oh, and I’m usually up this late Fawn.
There is usually at least one spinny b*tch wife per detachment, I’ve found. How nice for Vincenzo to have found La Ronge’s so early on!
I’ve always been a fan of calling the banana pants “stirrup” pants, like the cool ones all the girls used to wear in the 80s.
She wasn’t a part of the detachment Tuesy. They were new business owners in town. They just arrived in time for the Ball.
That’s a very funny comeback line, I wonder why she took such offense to it under the circumstances. I would have laughed… but of course, *I* wouldn’t have sexually assaulted him…
Vincinzo is a funny guy, a little rough around the edges but funny nonetheless. He was actually a little hurt over the incident, especially that they took the time to come into the office Monday to make a complaint.
“You could probably tell right away I wasn’t him.” HA!
I’m just imagining the complaint to the NCO…
“After I grabbed his package, he made a witty remark. The NERVE of some people!!!”
Yeah I think that was more like my NCO’s comeback to them when they complained. “Let me get this straight, YOU grabbed him but you think he was out of line by what he said.”
And thanks for the link Michael. You’ve sent a lot of people this way.
Yeah, real nice of them to get all up in his face when “he” was the one manhandled. Seriously, I wonder about people these days. Glad his boss has common sense.
It was a strange episode Shanlee