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Toronto Storm, 10 years after – The gift that just keeps giving.

When it comes to mocking Toronto there are few watershed moments bigger than Mel Lastman's calling out the Canadian Forces to deal with the snow that fell in Toronto 10…

When it comes to mocking Toronto there are few watershed moments bigger than Mel Lastman's calling out the Canadian Forces to deal with the snow that fell in Toronto 10 years ago. But now I understand his decision, I get it. There were seniors trapped in their homes!

Scene from A Porch Too Far

EXT  QUIET SNOWBOUND STREET GREATER TORONTO METROPOLITAN AREA – DAY

Capt. ED GRAHAM, M-16 in hand hunkers down in the lea of snowbank, a stub of a cigar clenched tightly in a jaw graced with a three day old beard. Sgt. MATT MAY lies beside him, eyes wide open and screaming. One other soldier is crouched beside him. A fourth man, Pte. PETE KOWALNUCK stands looking at him, shaking his head, a shovel slung over his shoulder.

A light from a helicopter illuminates a small older bungalow before them.

                                                   GRAHAM

For God's sake get a hold of yourself May. We've got a job to do.

GRAHAM slaps MAY across the face three times.

                                                    MAY (sobbing)

It's just so damn cold Captain.  I can't feel my legs. Oh God I can't feel my legs!

                                                    GRAHAM

Pull yourself together Sergeant. You don't see Kowalnuck complaining.

                                                    KOWALNUCK

I'm from Winnipeg.

                                                    GRAHAM

I knew there was something about you I didn't like. Okay, May, you, Lee and Kowalnuck set up a perimeter. And get on that radio. Where is my halftrack Dammit?

                                                   KOWALNUCK

Can't I just shovel the walk Sir?

                                                    GRAHAM

You're not from here are you Private?

                                                    KOWALNUCK (puzzled)

Uh, no sir. Winnipeg. I just tol…

                                                    GRAHAM

Well around here we care about our seniors, and by god we're going to get her out of there.

                                                    KOWALNUCK

I care, its just a neighbour would have had her walk shoveled by now. That guy…

Kowalnuck points to a neighbouring house.

                                                    KOWALNUCK (con't)

… has a snowblower.

                                                    MAY (whimpering)

My legs. Oh god my legs.

                                                    GRAHAM

Medic!  I'm going in.

                                                    KOWALNUCK

I'm just going to shovel it Sir. Curling's on in an hour.

FADE TO BLACK:

Comments

6 responses

  1. Jennith Peart Avatar
    Jennith Peart

    There are a few Toronto area folks who know how to shovel a driveway (my banks were over my head by the end of last winter) and occasionally my neighbours… although last year there was was a family of 6 with 4 of the six being 18-24 year olds – so usually they made short work of their own driveway and helped me with mine. But my mom grew up in Owen Sound and Montreal – so perhaps it is because I was raised in a household that knew what real snow was…

  2. Meandering Michael Avatar
    Meandering Michael

    BWA-HA-HA-HA-HA! Love it!
    “I can’t feel my legs. Oh God I can’t feel my legs!”

  3. Clare Avatar
    Clare

    Hi Jennith,
    I have no doubt that many, many people from TO coped very well, know how to and shovel their walks, and care about their neighbours. This is just to mock the idea that some sort of major response was required to deal with a situation that has been handled with aplomb almost everywhere (and Toronto – prior to, and since). And war movies. It seemed like to good of an idea to pass up.
    I had a scene about three times as long running through my head Michael. Sgt May was going to keep popping up in it.

  4. Clare Avatar
    Clare

    And before anyone else points it out I do now realize that I have the scene set in the DAY but have a helicopter “illuminating” the scene. I’m sure I would have caught it in the third or fourth revision.

  5. bearswife Avatar
    bearswife

    hot damn, that is funny!!
    I just stumbled upon your blog (googling info about frozen vent stacks!?!) and can’t stop laughing. I am a Winnipeger and you really hit the nail on the head! It was -50 with the windchill this AM.
    Love the blog, Clare< I'll be back.

  6. Clare Avatar
    Clare

    Why thank you Bearswife, and welcome to the House. I get a lot of hits for “frozen vent stacks”. Say hi to everyone in Winnipeg for me.